▪ BALDERDASHERY ▪
completely nonsensical and tizzy since 1984
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Having a rough toilet night.

And poopdog opened the door to the bathroom and curled up at my feet. An hour later I finally get off the pot and drag my ass to bed and he follows me with a sagging tail.

He’s so damn sweet. And even though he’s afraid of my room at night he’s currently curled in bed with me cause he wants to put his heal on me.

Posted 2 hours ago | 2 comments

This insomnia is harshing my groove.

Posted 2 days ago | 4 comments

POP GOES MY KNEE!

So I was sitting on the floor with my dogs and went to stand and my knee gave out and I got some intense pain on the outer edge (normally I have pain on the inside of my knee). So I reached down to touch it and POP! It popped so loud my mother gasped and sat up.

I thought it was stuff just snapping around but when I tried to walk I felt intense pain and weakness in that leg. Fortunately it’s my bad leg so I already have canes and a wheelchair but…

Normally I can walk around my house without them. Now I can’t walk. Mom helped me into bed and I have it elevated and iced. It’s swollen but this knee is normally swollen.

Posted 1 week ago | 1 comments
Migraines are the worst. When I feel one coming on and I’m not near my meds or it’s too late to take them I shotgun an energy drink. Sometimes a hot shower in the dark helps too. Usually I end up in bed with a sleep mask on till most of it leaves and then use some polarized sunglasses the rest of the day indoors and out. I avoid looking at screens or turn the brightness down on screens if I can’t avoid them. 

The generalized photophobia I have is just constant and gradually getting worse and might be a side effect of my visual snow. I find green lensed sunglasses are the best for indoor use (they’re not too dark) and transition well out of doors. Brimmed hats also help. I look like an asshole (or vampire) who wears sunglasses inside or at night sometimes but OH WELL. 

If anyone else has some tips lemme know!

Migraines are the worst. When I feel one coming on and I’m not near my meds or it’s too late to take them I shotgun an energy drink. Sometimes a hot shower in the dark helps too. Usually I end up in bed with a sleep mask on till most of it leaves and then use some polarized sunglasses the rest of the day indoors and out. I avoid looking at screens or turn the brightness down on screens if I can’t avoid them.

The generalized photophobia I have is just constant and gradually getting worse and might be a side effect of my visual snow. I find green lensed sunglasses are the best for indoor use (they’re not too dark) and transition well out of doors. Brimmed hats also help. I look like an asshole (or vampire) who wears sunglasses inside or at night sometimes but OH WELL.

If anyone else has some tips lemme know!

Posted 1 week ago

Out of bed and in a giant sweater and sweatpants. Ready to eat.

Posted 1 week ago | 10 comments

Might have over-did it yesterday.

I still haven’t gotten out of bed. My eyes, knees and spine are puffy and swollen. I have fatigue out the wazoo.

I wanted to clean the floors today. Oof. Guess I used up all my spoons and then some yesterday with all the cooking and tidying.

I hate not being productive. I mean I could at least crochet right now, right? But I feel like that’s a huge undertaking. It’s frustrating as Hell.

Posted 1 week ago

Woke in pain and fatigue.

I’m treating it with oxycodone, fresh strawberries in honey and the Mariinsky Ballet’s Don Quixote.

Posted 1 week ago | 2 comments

I’m like a bear when it comes to chemo: I don’t exercise as hard and eat like a pig the week before then I get super nauseous the week after and loose all the weight I put on even though I’m doing little more than sleeping.


Still I feel really guilty for hitting sugar and refined grains like a madman.

Posted 1 week ago | 2 comments
My joose!

My joose!

Posted 1 week ago | 5 comments

Heads up

I have chemo this Friday so prepare for me to possibly fall off the face of the Earth for a week or so.

Posted 1 week ago | 2 comments



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