▪ BALDERDASHERY ▪
completely nonsensical and tizzy since 1984
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Woke up in severe pain, sweating my butt off and GERD-up a storm. A couple Tramadol later and I’m somewhat functional again.

Posted 21 hours ago | 2 comments

So I might be developing a sinus infection. I spent all day yesterday in bed and now I’m getting blood and gunk out of my nozz.

I want to put off going to the doctor because I’m on chemo to lower my immune system so my immune system stops attacking my body. If I get on antibiotics my infection will clear up but my immune system will be boosted and attack my body again rendering my last treatment useless.


I cannot get another treatment if I’m already infected. So I have to time going to a doctor perfectly. Ugh.

Posted 2 days ago | 2 comments

Things that happened to me today:

  • Creepy old giant with leg braces (and IRISH CRIPPLE tattoo) asks me on a dinner date after discussing chronic illness and telling me how he became disabled in Northern Ireland thanks to the IRA, in the disease section of the bookstore. Gives me a book about Helen Keller heavily laden with Bible quotes. Blesses me.
  • Ate at Sonic cause I haven’t gone there in a while and FUCK I don’t care if it gives me a tummy ache I want overly-processed chilli cheese tots.
  • Go to a creepy wig shop run by an old Korean lady that looks more like a black market behind-the-scenes  crack operation and try on some wigs.
  • Go to a better wig shop that is nice and clean with helpful staff that only seems to carry wigs for ethnic hair. They still try to help me anyway.
  • Shat my pants. Guess I shouldn’t have had that Sonic. Thanks bowel disease!

Posted 4 days ago | 6 comments
My Portcath is all healed up. You can kind of see the tube which is really cool and eerie all at once. I keep trying to get my sister to touch it but she won’t.

My Portcath is all healed up. You can kind of see the tube which is really cool and eerie all at once. I keep trying to get my sister to touch it but she won’t.

Posted 1 week ago | 1 comments

Good news!

My hip/leg does not require surgery. I am signed up for more PT though and have ‘crooked’ hips cause one leg is longer than the other.

I asked if I could get back into high-impact exercise but he said, “I just cut things. I don’t know. All I know is you don’t need to be cut.”

Posted 2 weeks ago | 5 comments

Not only was the medical taxi an hour and a half early, but my doctor is running late. I’m so tired and hungry and sore. I want to go home.

Posted 2 weeks ago | 1 comments
Just got back from chemo. The port works WONDERFULLY, I wish I would have got it put in sooner. It hurt a little bit since the lidocane cream I got was a lower % than what they normally use, but a nurse got me free tubes of the stronger stuff. I had to take a taxi today to and from chemo and when I called to be picked up the operator asked me what I was wearing so I said, “A green floral print shirt. What are /you/ wearing?” I clearly said this in the most mock-skeeviest voice I could and it made all the nurses laugh but the operator was NOT amused. Nurses joked I wouldn’t get a ride now cause I was a weirdo on the phone and SURE ENOUGH my ride was over an hour late so I had to call in again. The worst part? My cabbie asked how long I had been waiting and then cursed the operators. “I was sitting in the parking lot of the grocery store for over 40 minutes doing nothing! They didn’t even tell me you were there.” I have a feeling the cabbie was right because the one that picked me up this morning complained about the operators as well—telling me they didn’t even tell him when my appointment time was. Other than that, it’s a good deal. I looked at some wigs today, too. Anyway, I’m tired as heck and am going to go take a lie down! Love you all! EDIT : They drew my blood today too and I’m low on potassium and electrolytes again.

Just got back from chemo. The port works WONDERFULLY, I wish I would have got it put in sooner. It hurt a little bit since the lidocane cream I got was a lower % than what they normally use, but a nurse got me free tubes of the stronger stuff.

I had to take a taxi today to and from chemo and when I called to be picked up the operator asked me what I was wearing so I said, “A green floral print shirt. What are /you/ wearing?” I clearly said this in the most mock-skeeviest voice I could and it made all the nurses laugh but the operator was NOT amused. Nurses joked I wouldn’t get a ride now cause I was a weirdo on the phone and SURE ENOUGH my ride was over an hour late so I had to call in again. The worst part? My cabbie asked how long I had been waiting and then cursed the operators. “I was sitting in the parking lot of the grocery store for over 40 minutes doing nothing! They didn’t even tell me you were there.”

I have a feeling the cabbie was right because the one that picked me up this morning complained about the operators as well—telling me they didn’t even tell him when my appointment time was.


Other than that, it’s a good deal. I looked at some wigs today, too. Anyway, I’m tired as heck and am going to go take a lie down!

Love you all!

EDIT : They drew my blood today too and I’m low on potassium and electrolytes again.

Posted 2 weeks ago | 6 comments

Regarding Fatigue

My fatigue has been really crazy the past month or so. And in the past week or so I get these periods where I’ll suddenly feel as though I’ve been drugged and then I get super drowsy. Is this normal?

Everything is difficult and my memory blows.

I don’t have the energy to go out and I wish I had more local friends that could just come over and watch TV with me or something.

THE GOOD NEWS:

My friend Jpo who works in the Animation Industry and is an all around AWESOME GUY, is flying in from L.A. to spend the weekend of the 26th with me. I am so flipping hyped about this. We worked in Japan together as teachers and we nerd out on the same things.

My friend ESSIE who is just awesome as well will be coming down from Canada next spring if all goes well. I’m still scrimping and saving so I can go visit her some time but right now traveling is near impossible and saving is difficult when one has no job.

Posted 2 weeks ago | 3 comments

CHEMO THIS FRIDAY!!!

I am so excited. Sure it makes me feel like ABSOLUTE SHIT for a week or two but it’s not so bad with my pain and anti-nausea meds. AND, on the plus side, it seems to help my guts out quite a bit and my guts have been KILLING ME the past couple weeks.

I think my doctor is going to adjust my dose next we meet so that my chemo is either closer together or my dose is higher.

Posted 3 weeks ago | 5 comments

Spit a stitch today. Never fails. Every time I get dissolving stitches my body rejects the crap out of them.

Posted 3 weeks ago | 2 comments



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