▪ BALDERDASHERY ▪
completely nonsensical and tizzy since 1984
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It has rained on my birthday without fail for over a quarter of a century now.

This morning I awoke to thunder cracking so loudly near my window that it made all the teacups and nick-knacks in my room rattle. There was a downpour so torrential that it washed part of the desert into the road one takes to get to my home (And it still didn’t stop me from getting that cake! Hah!). 

I laughed with joy. Another year to keep the record strong! And the weatherman said it would be ‘perfectly sunny’ today!

I remember when I was in first grade and I refused to believe it was my birthday because it hadn’t rained. When it rained later in the afternoon I tucked-tail and apologized to my mother. It had rained; therefore, it was my birthday.

I am a complete weirdo.

Posted 1 week ago | 11 comments
Look what I just picked up from the French bakery. Oh la la.

Look what I just picked up from the French bakery. Oh la la.

Posted 1 week ago | 10 comments
Auditioning for the walking dead.

Auditioning for the walking dead.

Posted 2 weeks ago | 11 comments

Visual snow!

So wait. Not everybody sees this?

I’ve had snowy/static vision since I can remember. It’s most noticeable when I close my eyes. I thought that was just how eyes worked.

Do any of my followers have permanent visual snow?

Posted 2 weeks ago | 4 comments
Posted 2 weeks ago | 26401 comments

I DON’T NEED SOMEONE TO ASK ME THEM I DO WHAT I WANT

  • 1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? What, more?
  • 2.When did your last hug take place? Last night.
  • 3.Are you a jealous person? Not remotely.
  • 4.Are you tired right now? Exhausted.
  • 5.Do you chew on your straws? Not anymore. I got hit upside the head every time I tried as a kid.
  • 6.Have you ever been called a tease? Of course!
  • 7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
    HAH! I can top that. I’ve been up for about 96 before.
  • 8.Do you cry easily? I never used to, this year I’ve been crying a lot. Good and bad.
  • 9.What should you be doing right now? Working on knitting/crochet projects or art.
  • 10.Are you a heavy sleeper? Heavens no.
  • 11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?
    I know I can.
  • 12.Are you mad at someone right now? Police officers.
  • 13.Do you believe in love?
    I wasn’t aware the existence of love was up to debate.
  • 14.What makes you laugh no matter what?
    My dog rubbing his butt on the carpet.
  • 15.Who was the last person you talked to? Hookething.
  • 16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like?
    No.
  • 17.Will you get married? Who knows.
  • 18.When was the last time you smiled? When I answered question 14.
  • 19.Does anyone like you?
    Most people.
  • 20.Do you secretly like someone?
    It’s hardly a secret.
  • 21.Who was the first person you talked to today?
    My sister.
  • 22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? I’ll talk to most anyone but esserz is my go to for heavy stuff. 
  • 23.What are you NOT looking forward to? My colonoscopy/endoscopy and it’s prep this Sept. 11.
  • 24.What ARE you looking forward to?
    My birthday.
  • 25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?
    Opposite, same, parallel.
  • 26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?  Be happy for them.
  • 27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
    I wish.
  • 28.Are you a forgiving person?
    Absolutely but I don’t forget.
  • 29.How many TRUE friends do you have?
    Quite a few. Most of them read this blog.
  • 30.Do you fall for people easily?
    No. I’m a slow thaw. Very slow.
  • 31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?
    Nope.
  • 32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth? Water.
  • 33.Who was the last person you drove with?
    My family.
  • 34.How late did you stay up last night and why?
    Off and on all night with painsomnia.
  • 35.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
    Oh, yes.
  • 36.Who was the last person you took a picture of?
    Person? Uhhh…….myself I suppose.
  • 37.Can you live a day without TV?
    Honey, I lived two years without TV. I hardly watch it now.
  • 38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
    August 9th when my dad was being super racist and possibly baiting me just to see me get upset. 
  • 39.Three names you go by..
    Ames, Bug, Mrin.
  • 40.What is your all-time favorite romance movie? The Princess Bride
  • 41.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
    Not particularly. 
  • 42.What’s your current problem?
    My health. I have an autoimmune disease that is making life difficult for me now and preventing me from doing things I’d like.
  • 43.Have you ever had your heart broken?
    Yes. And stepped on.
  • 44.Your thoughts of long distance relationships?
    They take a lot of work. I don’t like them as much but who does? As with any  relationship open communication is key. 
  • 45.How many kids do you want to have?
    None. But If I change my mind I’d adopt.
  • 46.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?
    Absolutely.
Posted 2 weeks ago | 2 comments

Bad Kitty kisses Poopdog.

Posted 2 weeks ago | 3 comments

meet the blogger

Taken from lady-lamplight:

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE

  • name: Ames Kosmos
  • eye colour: Up to debate. Blue-green with gold ring.
  • hair style/color: long auburn currently henna’d red
  • height: 5’8”
  • clothing style: Fancy dandy / Space Invader / Woodland Hermit.
  • best physical feature: Opposable thumbs.

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

  • your fears: being bitten by a rabbit
  • your guilty pleasure: Role-playing games
  • ambitions for the future: travel the world, meet everyone

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

  • your first thoughts waking up:  YAY! Another beautiful day! OUCH ! MY BONES HURT! You can do it Ames, get out of bed! You beast! RAWR!
  • what you think about most: The state of the world, how my friends are doing, how I’m going to get back to being independence, my health, how beautiful nature is, how much I love baked goods…all about equally.
  • what you think about before bed: Have I taken my medicine? Then, once in bed I daydream about adventures in the hopes I can continue them when I’m asleep.
  • you think your best quality is: Compassion.

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER? 

  • single or group dates: Depends on the situation.
  • to be loved or respected: Respected
  • beauty or brains: Brains
  • dogs or cats: <3

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU

  • lie: I make a concentrated effort not to lie and have since I was in Elementary school. I have grown very good at dodging questions I do not wish to answer as a result but I will answer direct questions if pinned down. 
  • believe in yourself: Of course!
  • believe in love: I do. I wish more did.
  • want someone: Everybody does.

LAYER SIX: EVER?

  • been on stage: Yes, in front of thousands, too.
  • done drugs: I self-medicated with alcohol when I was younger because I was too afraid to ask for help with my insomnia and night terrors. When I was 21 I got sick of it and got help. I’m glad I did. Never be afraid to seek therapy, folks. I’ve been so much happier and now I have medication to help me on rough spots. Everyone could use a good therapy, imho.
  • changed who you were to fit in: Goodness, no.

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

  • favorite colour: Red-orange or anything orange-y.
  • favorite animal: Ravens/Bees
  • favorite movie: The Princess Bride
  • favourite game: Settlers of Catan (Board), Portal (Electronic)

LAYER EIGHT: AGE

  • day your next birthday will be: August 17th.
  • how old will you be: The big 3-Oh.
Posted 2 weeks ago | 5 comments
Anonymous murmured: what is your tat? 

I have several tattoos, but I’m guessing you mean the one on my forearm. It’s a design I made combining Buddhist, Pascua Yaqui and Naval symbols to form and is a memorial tattoo for my grandfather and surrogate father, both of whom passed this year about three weeks within each other.

My grandfather was a sailor so I wanted something nautical to remember him by and he always gave me guidance so I decided I needed to form a compass rose out of the different elements. The buddhist double-dorje points out each cardinal direction with an arrow pointing north.

The double dorje is a buddhist symbol that is supposed to remind you of that which is enduring and indestructible.  It’s also a protective symbol. Wearing (or tattooing) a double dorje helps empower you in your daily life and by reminding you of your inner-strengths and guiding you to use integrity and truth in all your actions—which is something I strive to do and that both pops and my surrogate father encouraged me to do.

The triangles and the cross at the center of the dorje are Pascua Yaqui Native American symbols. The triangles symbolize rain and tears and how both can be refreshing to your life while the cross is a symbol of the sun or a central guiding light. My surrogate father had these triangular symbols tattooed down his own arms.

Posted 2 weeks ago | 2 comments
Posted 2 weeks ago | 3 comments



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